Well, recently something happened that I won’t share exactly what it was, however, I’ll give some hints. What I’ve discovered is that there are feelings within us that are strong but sleeping. Falling in love is one of those feelings. We can fall in love for people, things, and animals or even life itself, which one of them might hurt you less or more, which? Depends on you. Falling in love is easy, keep falling in love is not.
I’ve tasted twice this feeling, one was for a thing called “English” it was love at the first sight. It is the thing that keep me writing and living, without it I would not be the same, that’s I am sure. I don’t remember when that happened but well, until now it is a strong feeling, it’s real, alive and well, I am in love with this language. People might not believe that these things happen, even though it is not a person.
Now back to the heart, I felt that once only and it was during a time where I was not prepared to handle it well. I behave strangely, could not sleep very well, mind running in circles and I didn’t even know what it was back then. I will make this story short cause there is no a happy ending, at least not at my point of view, but that’s alright, I’ve learned something.
College, beautiful girls were always my weakness, that I confess. I went trough that process in the hardest way, but I believe that everybody has a similar history, right? You can’t choose, the heart does, the heart beats fast every time you are close, hands shake, voice is barely there, so I stuttered, I froze and I panic at every single time I met her. Sort of speak I thought I was sick and if sickness has similarly to bad things, how could that be love? Answer: It was only a new thing.
For years I tried to make it work, probably not in the smartest way, that’s I am sure, but you know, sometimes life is funny and sometimes life is not the best friend to be around you. You live, day by day, you learn, and you think, even when your heart doesn’t allow you to. The best thing I can take out of that period in my life it was that when it happens is amazing. I must thank her for making feeling that way, cause that level of love is unique and it nobody’s fault that it didn’t work, it just life happening in front of our eyes and teaching us in the most difficult way, why? Cause if something is hard it’s because it’s worth fighting for, waiting for and praying for.
Currently, I am in love with my nephew which is an amazing boy and I will do everything possible to make his life as happy as it can be. English is already an old passion and life is taking its place in my heart too. For the person, I pray for that the best happen to me, that my actions reflect my true feeling and that I can manage the hurricane of feelings inside of my heart and mind. Older, smarter, stronger and wiser that I was one day, that God help me.
30 seconds of conversation brought me to this post. Thank you unknown person.
Thanks for reading things. The heart beats slowly now.