When I was a child

If back in 2000, when I was 14-years-old I could have received today’s me telling that I should choose this, should’ve chosen that, shouldn’t have done this or that, I think I would have suffered less now. Making all the wrongs, right and making no mistakes, life could be a lot easier. Myself today would tell my younger version to study more, to choose an engineering career, to focus on whatever learning material I could get my hands on. Myself would’ve warned my 14-year-old-version to learn more about women as soon as possible, to really understand their feelings and how to approach them properly and love more than being hurt.

If I only knew all the tragedies happened in 16 years of life, how would myself today would be? Certainly, I could not go back in time and teach myself to be different. This reflection takes me to one place, the place where we all have to accept the wrongs as lessons, not easy to do while learning them, but accept that. Change is necessary, because if changes don’t happen, what is the point of living? Live a life without changing your car, classes, teachers, girlfriends, home, the fucking cell phone could be something like: You are born, in some weird creature from universe giving all your things you could use or have “here it’s, use from now until you die”.

If the same me could’ve also gone back and told me that I would be happy for travelling abroad, for meeting such amazing people, how the first kiss would feel like, that I would be an uncle of an amazing kid, that I would go back to the place I left and life would indeed begin at the age of 30 to me, would I’ve listened to it or not? If you have watched the movie “Butterfly effect”, that’s the kind of life I think like would be like. You change one action and it creates a way new world. I believe that it’s a necessary feeling to be hurt and to love, to fall and get up. Even though we hate to fall and feel pain, it’s a necessary for us to grow.

We meet up, we hang out, we have fun, that’s what life is all about that, nevertheless, we tend to look things at the worst side, human nature.

From the movie “Collateral Beauty” I take this:

“We long for love, we wish we had more time and we fear death”


Thanks for reading it



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